Aaby Family Law, PC

AABY FAMILY LAW RECOMMENDED BOOKS FOR YOUNG CHILDREN AND PARENTS

2020-09-16T17:26:26Z

FOR YOUNG CHILDREN

When I Miss You by Cornelia Maude Spelman:

A story told through animal characters about separation anxiety. The story helps young children understand the emotions associated with missing a parent and finding ways to soothe themselves during this process.

Why Do Families Change? by Dr. Jillian Roberts:

This book answers specific questions that children may have about why parents sometimes separate and divorce.

My Family is Changing (A Drawing and Activity Book for Kids of Divorce)

by Tracy McConaghie:

A number of children from different ethnic backgrounds share short stories about their experience with their parent's divorce and then invite the reader to draw and/or write their own response.

Two Homes by Claire Masurel:

The author takes the simple concept of a child of divorced parents who will has two homes, two front doors, two bedrooms, etc., and presents this idea in avery reassuring and special way.

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst:

Not specifically about divorce, but the story is about how we are always connected with people we love even if they are out of sight.

FOR PARENTS

Talking to Children About Divorce by Jean McBride:

This book is a wonderful resource for parents and is filled with very practical information about talking to your children about divorce. The book includes scripts that parents can use to talk about these sensitive issues in a reassuring manner.

CARES Stimulus Check FAQ

2020-09-18T12:14:41Z

The IRS is in the process of developing procedure for the issuance of stimulus payments as required under the CARES Act. The procedures are evolving and the information below is based on what is known as of this date. As always, it is best to check with your attorney for more specific questions.

Q: Where will the stimulus check be deposited?

A: If you received a federal tax refund which was deposited directly into your bank account from your 2018 or 2019 federal tax return, the money will be automatically deposited in that account.

If you mailed your 2018 or 2019 liability or received the refund via mail, the IRS will mail the stimulus check.

If you already filed for 2018/2019 but did not provide bank payment information, or have only paid a liability (rather than received a refund) you can update your information here: https://www.irs.gov/coronavirus/get-my-payment

Q: What if I have not filed taxes in 2018 or 2019?

If you were not required to file a tax return for either year, you can still fill out the necessary information to receive the stimulus check. The IRS has set up a website to assist with this: https://www.irs.gov/coronavirus/non-filers-enter-payment-info-here

Q: Who qualifies?

A: The stimulus check is based on your Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) and filing status.

If you earn the following:

· Up to $75,000/single or married filing separately you will receive $1,200

· Up to $112,500/head of household you will receive $1,200

· Up to $150,000/married couples filing joint return you will receive $2,400

You'll receive a reduced payment if your AGI falls between the following ranges:

· $75,000 and $99,000/single or married filing separately

· $112,500 and $136,500/head of household

· $150,000 and $198,000/ married filing jointly

The payment is reduced by $5 for each $100 above the $75,000/$112,500/$150,000 thresholds.

Q: What children qualify?

A: Children under the age of 17 (as of December 31, 2020) qualify the filer for an additional $500 payment per child.

Q: My co-parent and I have joint custody and share parenting time, who is entitled the check for the minor children?

A: Whoever was entitled to claim the minor children in 2019, either pursuant to a court order or IRS guidelines will receive the stimulus check for the minor child.

Q: What if we are separated but not officially divorced?

A: The stimulus check will be deposited based on the bank information the IRS has available. If you have not yet filed your tax return for 2019, the IRS will use your information from your 2018 filing. In the event of a dispute about who is entitled to this money, consult with your attorney for more specific information.

Q: What if my co-parent was entitled to claim the children in 2019, but we have since significantly altered the parenting schedule and now I have substantially more parenting time?

A: While the stimulus check will be deposited into a bank account consistent with the information that the IRS has, this does not necessarily mean that the person who receives the check is entitled to 100% of the proceeds. In cases like this, it is wise to check with your attorney for further guidance.

However, given that the amount of the stimulus for children is small compared to the cost of litigation and attorney fees, this is a great time to be compassionate with your co-parent and see if you can determine a division of the check that makes sense for your situation. Does one of you need the money substantially more than other regardless of parenting time? (i.e. Has one of you lost your job and the other is still working?), Do you both need the money but one of you is carrying the load of parenting responsibilities currently regardless of what was happening in 2019? Remember, this money is meant to help families through these trying times, just because the IRS says you are entitled to it, does not mean that is what has to happen. Keep in mind what is best for your entire family and most importantly, your child(ren).

State Family Law Advisory Committee (SFLAC) Guidelines During COVID-19

2020-09-16T17:26:39Z

SFLAC has issued guidelines to parents sharing custody or parenting time during COVID-19. They can by found by clicking here. As always, consult an attorney for more specific advice related to your case.

Stay safe and be well!

Can a Child Make Custody and Parenting Time Decisions?

2020-09-18T12:16:54Z

Common Question: Under Oregon law, isn't there a certain age that my child will be able to decide custody or parenting time issues?

Answer: No. There is not a specific age when the Court allows a child to determine who they will live with or how often they will have parenting time with the non-custodial parent. Until a child turns age 18, the court has jurisdiction to determine custody and parenting time issues. Generally, the Court will give more weight to the preferences of an older child, as long as that child's preference is not contrary to their best interests.

There are various ways, however, by which a child can have input into a custody or parenting time determination:

1. Under ORS 107.425(6), the Court may appoint counsel to represent a child in a domestic relations proceeding. The attorney appointed for the child can advocate for the child's wishes. If a child requests the appointment of an attorney, the Court shall appoint an attorney to represent the child.

2. If a custody or parenting time evaluation is conducted pursuant to ORS 107.425(2), typically the child will be interviewed and the evaluator may take the child's views into account (again, the older the child, the more likely his/her views will hold weight with the evaluator).

3. A child can testify in Court and tell the Court his or her preference for custody and/or parenting time. However, this can be a risky proposition - many judges do not like children testifying in court, as they do not believe that a child should be put in the middle of "adult issues."

New Protective Order for Victims

2021-04-28T15:20:32Z

As of January 1, 2014, we have a new tool to protect victims of sexual assault called a Sexual Assault Protective Order or "SAPO" for short. We still have Family Abuse Protective Act restraining orders ("FAPAs") and a Stalking Protective Orders ("SPOs"). However, these Orders did not protect a victim that had a one-time encounter with a perpetrator. The FAPA restraining order requires a "relationship" between the parties and a SPO requires at least two incidences of conduct. The SAPO is meant to protect the people who fell through the gaps between these two orders.

We have attorneys at Aaby Family Law to help you if you need assistance in obtaining any of these orders or representation at a contested hearing. There are also many wonderful programs in our community that also assist victims for free or at a reduced rate. There is a national sexual assault hotline which can be reached at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). Oregon has its own sexual assault task force; their website is http://oregonsatf.org/help-for-survivors/. Bradley Angle is another amazing organization located in the Portland Metro area. This organization is devoted to "building communities that are free from domestic violence and oppression, where loving, compassionate, and equitable relationships exist for all people." They operate a 24-hour crisis line, 503-281-2442. Their website, http://bradleyangle.org, is very informative and contains many touching stories of hope for victims, as well as other resources.

Aaby Family Law News

2020-09-16T17:26:59Z

Many exciting things are taking place at Aaby Family Law. First, we are moving! Our new office is located at 8705 SW Nimbus Avenue, Suite 230, Beaverton, OR 97008. The building is Creekside Five inside the Creekside Corporate Park. While we will miss our old location, our firm continues to grow and our current space can no longer accomodate our needs. The new office overlooks the Fanno Creek wetlands area and is still located conveniently off of Highway 217. While the new office is clearly nicer and larger, it still maintains the down to earth and unpretentious atmosphere of our old space. We anticipate the move will take place the last weekend of March with us up and running in the new space by April 1, 2014.

Secondly, attorney Jeff Greenspan will be joining our firm as of May 1, 2014. We are excited to have Jeff join our team. He has many years of experience in divorce and family law. He was named a "rising star" attorney by the Super Lawyers publication from 2009-2013. We will be updating our entire website soon and providing a full bio for Jeff as his arrival date nears.

“Graying” Divorce Trend

2020-09-16T17:27:06Z

NPR's All Things Considered had an interesting piece yesterday about the increase in divorces of middle-aged and older Americans. The radio piece cited a study out of Bowling Green State University, which found that one in four people getting divorced is age 50 or older.

Push for Joint Custody Laws

2020-09-16T17:27:12Z

There was an interesting piece on NPR's Morning Edition yesterday about a push to change custody laws to favor joint custody. No matter what your thoughts are on the issue, it's interested to know states are grappling with the issue of the best starting point for custody. You can read listen to the piece and read an accompanying article HERE.

Parenting Schedules

2020-09-16T17:27:18Z

Parents frequently consult with me for help in creating a parenting schedule. A parenting schedule is simply a written summary of how much time each child will spend with each parent and how the parents will divide between them the decision-making authority related to the children. While the concept of a parenting schedule is simple, arriving at a parenting schedule that both parents can agree upon is anything but simple.

It is important to know there is no one-size-fits-all parenting plan. In fact, while there are some general plans that are frequently discussed or ordered by the courts, each plan should be fine-tuned to each family's needs. Parenting plans are based on a legal standard of "best interests of the child". The problem is that reasonable people can and often do differ about what this means and how to apply this standard in their situation. Understanding the child's emotional development and their unique personality is that starting point in developing a workable plan. While it is clear that the needs of a young child and an adolescent are very different in terms of the number of overnights they can and should spend with each parent, what is less clear is how to exactly quantify this difference. At what age is it in the child's best interests to spend more time with the non-custodial parent? When can we move to a 50/50 parenting schedule? There are a number of helpful resources for parents to review to assist them in better understanding the developmental needs of children in general. For example, the Oregon judicial department provides some sample parenting plans and a parenting plan guide: Oregon Courts Basic Parenting Plan Guide. It is also a good idea to speak to the child's teacher, physician, counselor or daycare provider in gaining a better understanding of your child's developmental stage. Of course the analysis does not stop there. The next step is to consider your child's unique personality. For example, one of my own children used to easily separate from me, loved preschool, and enjoyed being with other adults. However, I also had a child who did not transition easily and who never wanted to leave my side until she was almost two years old. Clearly, a parenting plan for these two children should have taken into account these personality differences. While it is difficult to be objective about our children, I include several questions that you may want to consider in better understanding your child's unique personality: 1. In general does your child transition easily from one situation to another? 2. Is your child able to express his or her needs (emotional and physical) or do they keep their feelings and needs hidden? 3. How important is a particular routine, such as a bedtime routine, to your child? 4. Does your child have a sufficient emotional connection with both parents to feel safe and loved in both homes? Of course, there are many other factors to consider in developing a parenting plan, and we will continue to discuss those issues in future articles.

-Barbara

Insulating Kids from Divorce

2020-09-16T17:27:25Z

WebMD has a very good article on mistakes divorcing parents make when it comes to their children. While the majority of people going through divorce make their kids mental well-being their number one priority, it pointed out times when very well intentioned parents may be unintentionally causing damage. I liked the last section where the article suggested empowering the children with a "safe signal" such as quietly raising their hand when a parent is openly critizing their ex. The parent would agree to stop talking immediately and take their own time-out. See the article here: Mistakes Divorced Parents Make